Jan
16
2004

cccccccccCold!

4

cccccccccCold!

School was closed today. No, it's not snowing, or icy on the roads or anything. It's just cold. They closed schools today because it's cold? Yeah, I know it's because they're worried about kids walking to school, or waiting for the bus - but the parent that will let their kid walk to school in -12 degree weather, will probably let their kid "play outside" today when they're home. Shutting the schools down won't make the parents be more aware.

On the news last night they grabbed a parent for a quote: "Closing the schools down because it's cold?! That's crazy! We're making our kids soft!" She was from Minnesota were it is currently 27 F. But she makes a good point. We don't get the day off from work because it's cold. What are we REALLY teaching them? Dress like an idiot and you get days off?! These same idiot kids (and parents for that matter) will be complaining that they are still in school the last week of June and it's SOOOO HOT!

Temperature Conversion Chart

60F - Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in New England sunbathe.
50F - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. People in New England plant gardens.
40F - Italian & English cars won't start. People in New England drive with the windows down.
32F - Distilled water freezes. Maine's Moose Head Lake's water gets thicker.
20F - Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.
15F - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0F - All the people in Miami die. New Englanders close the windows.
-10F - Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.
-25F - Hollywood disintegrates. People in New England get out their winter coats.
-40F - Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors.
   Fun Fact: -40F and -40C are the same temperature


What They Said:

RantUser says lunch on 1/20/2004
Doug says Its all fun until someone loses a digit ... on 1/20/2004
RantUser says lunch on 1/20/2004
ENevi says ScrumpCam on 1/21/2004
fyi: the beloved scrump cam is back up (http://scrumpcam.thenevs.com). ding!


4 Comments | Perm-a-link | 1/16/2004



Jan
14
2004

Sound like anyone you know?

1

Sound like anyone you know?

Free Expression.
When someone uses the phrases "free expression" it is actually invoked to shut you up. To these people, "free expression" is their right to offend, insult, and abuse you and your values as much as they like. But when you criticize them, this is known as "censorship."

If I had a billion...

The next time you hear a politician use the words billion casually, think about whether you want that politician spending your tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into perspective in one of its releases:
  • A billion seconds ago, it was 1959.

  • A billion minutes ago, Jesus was alive.

  • A billion hours ago, our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

  • A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate Washington spends it.


Ripped bulk and wholesale from Doug.

What They Said:

Doug says Im flattered! on 1/19/2004
Usually I just rip stuff off from Bryan’s BLOG. ;)


1 Comments | Perm-a-link | 1/14/2004



Jan
1
2004

Happy New Year

1

Happy New Year

Thank goodness 2003 is gone! Here's hoping 2004 is better than 2003. Scary thing is that it won't take much!

What They Said:

BBS says Well.... on 1/1/2004
Not to be a contrairian but 2003 was a great year in our book!

Win a house



1 Comments | Perm-a-link | 1/1/2004


Dec
29
2003

This might be a repeat...

1

This might be a repeat...

Stoopid people drive me INSANE! Ignorance is no excuse! Laziness is a worse excuse! Come on people, get with it already. BTW... you're annoying too.

In other news

2003 a retrospective is in the works.... coming soon to a web page near you.

What They Said:

LBF says Where it at.. on 1/14/2004
Where is the year in review?


1 Comments | Perm-a-link | 12/29/2003


Dec
23
2003

Is Santa Real?

0

Is Santa Real?

No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second; a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal anoint, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

Based on the research of SPY magazine, January 1990.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 12/23/2003


Dec
20
2003

Red Dog Christmas

0

Red Dog Christmas



Festivus?

December is ...
Hi Neighbor Month,
Bingo's Birthday Month
Read A New Book Month

December 2 is ... National Fritters Day
December 4 is ... Wear Brown Shoes Day
December 6 is ... National Gazpacho Day and Mitten Tree Day
December 8 is ... Take It In The Ear Day
December 10 is ... Festival For The Souls Of Dead Whales
December 12 is ... National Ding-A-Ling Day
December 13 is ... Ice Cream and Violins Day
December 14 is ... National Bouillabaisse Day
December 17 is ... Underdog Day and National Maple Syrup Day
December 18 is ... National Roast Suckling Pig Day
December 21 is ... National Flashlight Day
December 26 is ... National Whiners Day
December 28 is ... Card Playing Day and National Chocolate Day
December 30 is ... Festival Of Enormous Changes At The Last Minute


0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 12/20/2003


Dec
12
2003

Bad Inventions

1

Bad Inventions

A scientist from Kansas State University has invented a bras that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing though the fabric when cold weather sets in.

At a news conference announcing the invention, the scientist was taken outside by two guys named Dave and Joe; who kicked the crap out of him.

Senility

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

What They Said:

BBS says Ha on 12/15/2003
I am the one that hired Dave & Joe


1 Comments | Perm-a-link | 12/12/2003


Dec
11
2003

Fall in New England

0

Fall in New England

2 Feet of Snow.. then pouring rain.. I love the White and gray colors of the fall in New England.

Plumbing

Just as an FYI.. popsicle sticks do NOT make it through P traps in your kitchen sink. In fact they tend to catch all the stuff that you put down the garbage disposal. And Drano doesn't work on them either.

Now you know.

Conglomo.com?

I was reading a story about the woes of a hiring manager, and he posed the question: How many of the people you hire end up being keepers? And how many turn out to be underperformers, incompetent, or just plain lazy?

Someone left the following comment which I think alot of readers can identify with: How many of you work for companies that are keepers? How many turn out to have no conscience, are managerially incompetent, and expect you to work 85 hours a week for 2-3 months at a time?

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 12/11/2003


Dec
2
2003

QOTD

2

QOTD

Good customer service is too expensive. Companies have figured out that it doens't make financial sense to treat customers properly.


So why do we as consumers tolerate poor service? Uggh..

What They Said:

BBS says Huh? on 12/2/2003
Doctor Sax says Even better on 1/30/2004
Don't you just love it when it's so blatantly obvious that they're using fake Americanized names like George and Frank along with lame exuses like "bad connections" to hide the fact that they're half way around the world and don't really understand a word you're saying. Just the other day I get "Tink ju fur kallink AYCH PEE teeknical soopurt, mie neem isss FRED, owww kin eye hilp ju?" I mean, really, "FRED"!? It was a woman for Pete's sake! What sadistic whipholder told her she had to be FRED that day?



2 Comments | Perm-a-link | 12/2/2003


Dec
1
2003

Bliss

0

Bliss

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

-Martin Luther King Jr.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 12/1/2003



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