Jun
26
2006

As random as it gets

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As random as it gets


Seen earlier this month on the window of a car going down the highway "WHERE OUTAA HERE!! SENIORS '06" That's a direct quote... and your tax dollars hard at work.

Here's a list of American proprietary eponyms, or brand names that have fallen into general use. And eponyms is your word for the day!

I was recently ordering a Ceasar Salad, and the woman asked me if I wanted Ceasar dressing with it. HuhWha?

State Senator Jared Barrios wants to ban the fluffernutter in elementary schools. His shorts got in a bunch when it was served to his kid at lunch. Here is an idea jackass; instead of coming up with all this legislation, make your kid a healthy lunch to bring to school!

Wimp: Saddam Hussein ended a hunger strike after missing just one meal, a U.S. official said Friday.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 6/26/2006



Jun
8
2006

Rock Paper Scissors

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Rock Paper Scissors

We've all played it at one time or another. The classic rock paper scissors (or once twice three shoot!)

First you had golf and bowling on TV. Then Poker. Now?! Rock Paper Scissors Championship! Yep.. really. Rock Paper Scissors Championship on A&E.

The program reveals the history of the game and the finer points of strategy.

Well.. there probably isn't anything else on anyway.

Just in case

Just in case you're under a rock .. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is dead.
And we are LIVE
He is still dead
We don't have anything to really tell you, but we are LIVE
Let's go to the Pentagon
Yep.. He's dead
Let's go to Bob in Iraq
Yep.. He's dead
Let's go to Joe in London
Yep.. He's dead (with an English accent)
We are LIVE
And there was no other news today.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 6/8/2006



Jun
6
2006

060606

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060606

Ok.. so today's date..
there I said it.. blah what's the big deal?

Last Comic Standing

So NBC is trying Last Comic Standing again. Hopefully this time around they'll actually air the final episode. Note to the ding dongs at NBC. We don't care about Anthony Clark, he's only a little less bad than Jay Mohr. SHOW US THE DAMN COMICS. Not just 30 seconds.. SHOW US THE COMICS!!!!! Why is that such a tought thing to figure out? geesh.

Have you ever noticed...

Have you ever noticed that wire hangers breed but plastic ones (especially the nice ones) don't?

Have you ever noticed that time speeds up as you get older? It use to be that Christmas took forever to show up but now you wonder where the first half of the year went.

Have you ever noticed how extremely difficult it is for a person to keep his mind open and his mouth shut at the same time?

Have you ever noticed that the things you never wanted are considerably cheaper?


0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 6/6/2006



May
29
2006

Memorial Day

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Memorial Day

What a great holiday to have to remember all the people that have fought and died for our great country, the United States of America.

If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.


0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 5/29/2006


May
23
2006

Offensive TV

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Offensive TV

What is the MOST offensive show on TV? South Park? Family Guy? The Most Offensive Show On Television is MTVís My Super Sweet 16.

For the uninitiated, hereís how MTV describes the show:

My Super Sweet 16 takes you on a wild ride behind the scenes for all the drama, surprises and over-the-top fun as teens prepare for their most important coming-of-age celebrations. Meet the kids who are determined to go all out to mark this major turning point in their lives, the parents who lavish every wish, and find out first hand what it's really like to turn 16 these days.


Read the whole story at The AV Club

Quick Links

UnGreek: Generate actual text instead of using LOREM IPSUM...
FutureMe.org: Send yourself emails in the future.
reality blurred: Reailty show weblog

What They Said:

MGMNT says Comment Fixed on 5/24/2006
Ok.. sorry 'bout that.. comments are fixed now.


1 Comments | Perm-a-link | 5/23/2006


May
17
2006

Proud Husband

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Proud Husband

Congratulations to my wife for getting pinned.

HOOORAAHHH

You may have noticed

or not..

Undergoing a little update, for now, only the home page has been updated, more to come. There are some other more subtle changes going on too. Heck.. perhaps I'll even get back in the posting groove.

HEY LADY

To the lady at the barber shop yesterday with Anthony and Vinnie and her fake Loius Vitton (sp? ahh who cares) bag. Your kids are brats, and you're no better. Teach your kids some self control or next time I'll poke your eyes out with the barber's scissors.

Thank you.. that is all.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 5/17/2006


May
16
2006

Annoyed

2

Annoyed

It couldn't be the rain.. heck..we've had barely 10 inches.. this week. Lately, it seems that not a day goes by where something annoys me. The shortlist includes:
The weather
The local tv stations - let's go live to see it raining.. see.. look.. it's raining.. now over to the doppler 10 million.. look.. it's raining here to. Breaking news, it's raining, and we're live.
Customer Service.. or better the lack there of. Why am I the one saying thank you at the checkout? I love the grunt I get back too.. that's a nice touch.
TV in general, more specifically er.
Barry Bonds
SPAM
My problem with CRS (that's can't remember sh1t)
what was I talking about again?

Immigration

I'll admit, this isn't 100% my idea, but I'll be darned if I can find the portions of it now. As far as immigration goes.. my requirements are: 1) speak english
2) don't ask for antyhing you didn't work for
3) speak english

Beyond that.. who cares? Last time I checked, this country was built by immigrants. For the "they don't pay taxes" argument.. try this one on for size:
Eliminate the income tax(es), yes.. I said eliminate them. Raise the sales tax on EVERYTHING to like 20 or 25%. Now the drug dealers, illegal immigrants et al are paying taxes. We'd probably collect more tax dollars than with the income tax, and as a extra added bonus we can ditch the IRS.

The Freedom Tower

So they are going to build The Freedom Tower where the World Trade Center buildings used to be. But how to prevent another terrorist attack?

It's really quite simple. Move the UN. That's right.. put the United Nations on the top floors of the new building. And for some extra added insurance move all the Embassies and or Consulates into that building to.


What They Said:

March To the Sea says Yikes on 5/16/2006
BBS says Hmmm on 5/16/2006
and it is already late and over budget!Shoot maybe I should emigrate to someplace warm and dry. Breaking news IT IS STILL RAINING!!! and we are LIVE!


2 Comments | Perm-a-link | 5/16/2006


Apr
12
2006

Happy Birthday Cam!

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Happy Birthday Cam!


Also Today..
1606 - England adopted the original Union Jack as its flag.
1861 - Fort Sumter was shelled by Confederacy, starting America's Civil War.
1877 - A catcher's mask was used in a baseball game for the first time by James Alexander Tyng.
1964 - The 100th episode of "Mr. Ed" aired on CBS.
1981 - The space shuttle Columbia blasted off from Cape Canaveral, FL, on its first test flight.

Happy Birthday to PJ too!

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 4/12/2006


Apr
4
2006

Think About This...

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Think About This...

On Wednesday, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.

How Much?

How much is inside a Sharpie?

Sharpie fine point permanent markers are an office-worker's second-best friend. Not only do they provide a strong, legible mark, the comfortable shape and low price make marking fun!

Perhaps the only problem with Sharpies is that eventually they run out, and those little refill kits never seem to work. How far could a Sharpie go before that happened?

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 4/4/2006


Mar
8
2006

Think before you speak

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Think before you speak

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? Mythree-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?"
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Remember we all say things we don't really mean, so think before you speak.

0 Comments | Perm-a-link | 3/8/2006



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