A day late.. but no less sincere.. Happy Birthday to my little brother's big brother who is my big brother too.
The little guy
I'll admit, I don't like to hear the stories of the Wal*Mart's/Home Depot/Lowes/Target whomevers that come to town and put the little guys out of business.
BUT...if the little guys don't have the stuff I need, then what am I supposed to do?
Yesterday I was digging post holes, and broke the handle on my shovel, so I went to the local mom and pop-ish hardware store to get a replacment handle. They didn't have any. So 5 or so miles down the road to Ace Hardware I go. A youngster in a white ACE Hardware shirt asks if he can help, so I ask.. "Do you have replacement shovel handles?" he replies "Those handles are riveted on, you can't replace those!" OK jackass... I'll go to Lowe's, and the chances are pretty good that I won't come back to your store. Have a nice day!
What They Said: Belated Birthday Boy says Thanks on 7/31/2006 I had a similar experiance at my local hardware store...I felt like saying I am here to help YOU!
A brief but somewhat funny week in review of the things my kids have taught me:
1 - When a tire on your car is flat, it's only flat on the bottom.
2 - When you give directions to an 8 year old on how to heat up a honey bun in the microwave, don't say "Put it in the microwave and press 1 then 10..... just put it in for 10," because that equals 10:10
3 - About 4 minutes into microwaving said honey bun, the kitchen is pretty full of smoke
4 - It's a REALLY good thing it wasn't the last honey bun, becuase there would have been big problems
5 - Skate buying criteria only consists of "these ones have blue on them"
Top 10 Crazy Science Things You Didn't Know: With a name like this, it's hard to miss. It has some nice things in it, though such as "You can Hypnotize Chickens ", "Don't laugh too much, it can kill you " and "Your hand can have a life of it's own " all with basic explainations.
Happy Birthday Brutha
Shout out to LBF wOO wOO.. Happy Birthday Brutha.
What They Said: LBF says thanks on 7/27/2006 Thank you thank you
The Independent has a great infographic depicting which countries support the immediate ceasefire in the Middle East demanded by the UN and which do not
Lucrative College Degrees
Are you still in school? Are you looking for a job that pays big bucks? CNN Money has a list of the most lucrative college degrees.
Majors that have seen some of the biggest increases in average starting salaries are: Hospitality services management
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade & I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade & behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in & the conditions were explained to him & he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: " 36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks & tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal & Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious & contains thin, whitish liquid?"
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard & pink then comes out soft & sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide & before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down & a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' & ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat & excitement?"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief & told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong......
What They Said: WastedRantUser says Wasted on 7/13/2006 Happy Birthday Cake!
English - Chinese
Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding
See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao
Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
Your price is too high - No Bai Dam Thing
Did you go to the beach - Wai Yu So Tan
I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a facelift - Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here - Wai So Dim?
Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?
That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching
I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching?
This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King
You are not very bright - Yu So Dum
I got this for free - Ai No Pei
I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi?
Please, stay a while longer - Wai Go Nao?
Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao
They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum
Stay out of sight - Lei Lo
He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka
What They Said: BBS says Happy Birthday on 7/13/2006 Happy Birthday To YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUU
"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves."
-- Abraham Lincoln
"My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy!"
-- Thomas Jefferson
"You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism."
-- Erma Bombeck
How often have you seen WASH ME written on the dirty car window?
Wouldn't you rather see this:
Austin's Scott Wade uses paint-brushes and his fingers to paint incredibly detailed art-scenes in the dust that accumulates on the windows of his Mini Cooper. The Austin American-Statesman has a small gallery of his finest work.