Number of tools the average guy owns: 36 (Really? I can't find at least 36 tools)
Of those, the number that are screwdrivers: 12
Amount the average guy spends on tools each year: $250 (that's 1 trip to HD)
Number of men that say the words "heavy duty" influence their tool purchase: 1 in 4 (how about sale?!)
Number of men who would buy a titanium hammer even if they had a steel one: 1 in 5 (does your thumb hurt more or less?)
Number of tools the average guy buysand never uses: 3 (rule of thumb: each project = at least 1 tool)
The average guy's "favorite" tool: nail gun
Number of men who think that, given the right tools, they can fix anything: 2 in 3 (Tim the "Tool Man" Taylor)
Tool the average guy is most likely to borrow: Cordless drill
Percentage of men who keep their tools.. in a toolbox 41, Scattered around the house: 11 In a kitchen drawer: 3
Hand tool the average guy would want in a fight: Hammer
Power tool he'd want: circular saw
Tool that sends the most guys to the er: chain saw
Number of men that die from freak chain saw accidents per year: 4
Tool the average guys swears at the most: Screwdriver
Number of times he's whacked his thumb: 4
Tool the average guy thinks a woman looks sexiest holding: cordless drill what?
Spring is coming.. the honey do list is growing!
Hillary in 2008
It's time to help Hillary get elected to the oval office.
The Democratic National Committee is currently polling Americans through the Internet to determine the electability of Hillary Clinton for the presidency of the United States in 2008.
If you would like to show your support for Hillary and encourage her to run for President of the United States in 2008 please click HERE.
What They Said:
BFAM says on 3/3/2007
I sent this ling to Big Jack.... He shuould love that one...
Following is an IM transcript that I had this afternoon with LBF. We are preparing for our first real snowstorm of the season, and it's always a hoot to see the storm coverage on the local news..it's goes something like this:
[15:44] LBF: last I read on weather.com for our zip code was 1-2 inches..
[15:44] LBF: well my zipcode.
[15:44] LBF: i can't wait to see the live coverage.
[15:44] LBF: we are LIVE
[15:44] LBF: its snowing here.
[15:44] LBF: the waves are here
[15:44] LBF: the plows are standing by
[15:44] YOBB: lets go live
[15:44] YOBB: it's not snowing yet
[15:45] LBF: we are LIVE at the local grocery store
[15:45] YOBB: but we expect it to start any time
[15:45] LBF: hahaha
[15:45] LBF: we are LIVE
[15:45] LBF: news on Anna Nicole Smith now..
[15:45] YOBB: and we'll preempt your favorite show.. with BREAKING NEWS that it's snowing
[15:45] LBF: lets go LIVE back to the snow plows.
[15:45] LBF: the sanders are ready Mary..they ar ready for a LONG LONG night.
[15:45] LBF: back to you..
[15:45] LBF: oh wait..lets go LIVE to the Cape.
[15:46] YOBB: Let's check the doppler 10,000,000
[15:46] YOBB: look
[15:46] YOBB: there is a flake
[15:46] YOBB: OMG
[15:46] LBF: 1 to 3 inches of snow expected during the overnight period.
[15:46] LBF: that is just now
[15:46] LBF: snow line isn't even in to southern NY yet.
[15:46] LBF: lets go LIVE to Hartford.
[15:46] YOBB: but the storm could move a half inch to the south, and we'll get whacked with 18-20 inches
[15:46] LBF: really?
[15:46] YOBB: we have no clue what we are talking about.. but WE ARE LIVE
[15:47] LBF: hahahahhaa
[15:47] LBF: local LIVE coverage of the snow if and when it happens
[15:47] YOBB: we'll have the MOST coverage
[15:47] LBF: uggh
[15:47] LBF: so annoying
[15:47] YOBB: you'll still get to see all the commercials, but we'll interupt every show possible to tell you that WE
[15:47] YOBB: ARE
[15:47] YOBB: LIVE
[15:48] LBF: hahaha
What They Said:
LBF says Umm hmm on 2/14/2007
BFAM says on 2/15/2007
You two have way to much time on your hands
Saw a sign in front of the local elementary school with the following on it:
No Name Calling Week
So.. does that mean it's OK the rest of the year to call people names? What are we teaching kids these days?
Behind the Bathroom Door
Day of the week the average guy spends the most time in the bathroom: Sunday
The least? Thursday
The number of times the average guy flushes the toilet in a year: 3,250
Number of men who "forget" to put the seat down: 1 in 7
Number that get yelled at: 1 in 3
Bathroom decoration most likely to cause the average guy to curse: the fuzzy cover that causes the toilet lid to fall down midstream
Number of men who read in the bathroom: 1 in 2
Number of men who talk on the phone: 1 in 3
Number who have sex in there: 1 in 5
Object the aveage guy is most likely to drop into a public toilet: his keys
Percentage of men who was their hands before leaving the restroom: 58
Percentage of women: 75
Top 3 things the average guy would like to see added to every public restroom:
1. Completely self cleaning toilets (inside and out)
2. Floor to Ceiling partitions between urinals
3. An on-call masseuse (ed. note: Huh?!)
What They Said:
BFAM says on 1/22/2007
LBF says Now what.. on 2/2/2007
The week is over so time to start with the name calling again.
Man, where did the time go? Seems like just yesterday I was scratching out the 5 and writing 6... now I have to write 7..
I was going to say something about resolutions for the new year.. but given most are laughable, I'll skip that and just wish everyone a 2007 that is better than 2006. Can't be that hard, can it?
What They Said:
BFAM says on 1/5/2007
LBF has some great resolutions on his blog, based on his list last year we should make a small wager on how many he will actually complete!
My resolution is to become a pain in the arse, after all mom always said to do what I was good at.
Stop me if you heard this one
Once upon a time, I worked for a large Boston teaching hospital which was bought by an HCO south of them. Ok... it was Providence.. but that's still south.
Then I worked for a smallish internet type company that was bought by Conglomo.com based in Georgia. For those of you geographically challenged, GA is south of MA.
Next (currently) I worked for an even smaller company that merged with, was aquired by, whatever, a slighty bigger company in south Florida.
Anyone else see a pattern?
Anyway, we had the opportunity to go to SFLA for the company Christmas party. They had record rainfall the 3 days we were there.. it was fabulous. Still at first glance we didn't think it was the worst place in the world. Then we talked to the people that lived there. School systems = CRAPPY, house prices = Boston prices, heat = HOT. The capper was going out to dinner. GOOD LORD. Sol, Morty, Edna, Bambi (yes, Bambi) et. al. (party of 8 next to us). I couldn't live there. And just to set the wife off, our departing flight was late (strike 1) because the plane was late arriving from NY. Strike 2 was the 55 wheelchairs needed to get these people off the plane. And strike 3 was a woman with her yippy little dog that she let pee on the carpet in the airport. Nice.. real nice. I'm better than you, I'm entitled to do whatever the hell I want. It was super. If go once a year for the Christmas party.. that will probably be enough.
Company names left out on purpose!
Kind of taken from LBF who answered questions from BFAM, they made me think a little, thought I'd answer them too. So here goes:
1. If you had to join a military service (at your current age and stage in life) which service would you choose and why?
The Marines. Go big or don't go at all.
2. Faced with the thoughts of a country like North Korea or Iran having the capability to strike the US with a Nuclear weapon, and the need for a third front (one of those two places) would you support a draft?
Being the parent of 2 boys, this is a little tough, but I'll say yes. And even go a step further and say that it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to require all the young men and women to do 2 years worth of service to their country.
3. Do Aliens really exist or are all those people in New Mexico just crack jobs?
Crack jobs. I have to think that if Aliens did exist, they wouldn't fly light years to just stop by. And why just New Mexico? Don't they have the internet? There are much better places in this country to visit if you've been traveling for a long time.
4. JFK conspiracy or again just a lone crack job?
Lone crack job with exceptional luck. This thing about this one boys and girls. If we were able to pull this off, aren't there other presidents in our history that this would have "benefited" as well?
5. You have one bullet and amnesty to assassinate one world leader who would it be?
Can I have the Lee Harvey Oswald magic bullet and get the 2 for 1 Special? Kim Jong Il, Hu Jintao, China, and since your being generous Omar al-Bashir, Sudan, mostly so we don't have to see Carter in Darfur on ER again.
6. If you had the chance to visit any world leader for one day where would you go and what would you want to discuss.
This is a tough one. You didn't say living or dead.. so I'll go with Ronald Reagan, and I'll mostly just listen, because I think he's probably got some really good stories.
What They Said:
LBF says Yep.. on 12/27/2006
Those were some pretty tuff questions for sure.
How Cool Would It Be If...
More rollover options. Cellphone minutes and vacation days are fine. But let us bank other stuff too. Politeness? I let you cut yesterday, today you wait. Crunches? Did 'em for a month, taking the next 6 off. Sleep?! OHHH....
A 10 percent discount when you do self checkout. C'mon, if we're making less work for the people who actually get paid to work there, you could throw us a bone.
Tollbooths that double as recycle centers. Empties are worth a nickel!
Countdown clocks on a movie screens. What time does the movie really start?
The Shaving Shack. Just like a care wash: Lie down and cruise through the steam, warm lather, and soothing emollient. The women can use it too.
Something that can set snow on fire. No more shovels or snowblowers. Just light a match and -- poof! -- the driveway is clear.
Add your own ideas...
What They Said:
LBF says Countdown clocks on 12/14/2006
RantUser says UPCHUCK on 12/21/2006
Pour gasoline on the snow, it will melt and you can light it on fire.
That whole shaving thing could get ugly if the machine makes an error and thinks you want the womens treatment and your a MAN!
I love the count down clock, but your brother would miss singing the snack song.
The Sporting Life
Your career numbers...
Sport average guy played as a kid: baseball
Sport he wishes he played: football (uh no)
Distance the average guy can throw a football: 50 yards
Distance he can drive a golf ball: 200 yards
Speed at which he can throw a baseball: 65mph
What today Little League pitcher clocks in at: 60mph
Number of men who admired and respected their Little League coach: 1 in 2
Number who thought he was an idiot: 1 in 8
Hours of televised sporst the average guy will watch in his lifetime: 2,885
Number of men with a favorite chair for watching sports on TV: 1 in 2
Number who are superstitious enough to believe their actions can affect the outcome of a game: 1 in 5
Number who yell at the tv when there is a bad call: 8 in 10
Number who throw something at the TV: 1 in 3
Odds the average guy will attend at least one pro sporting event this year: 1 in 2
What he's mostl likely to see: baseball
Number of men who have bought a ticket from a scalper: 1 in 2
Chances it'll be counterfeit: less than 1%
Activity the average guy considers to be less of a real sport than horse racing, car racing or volleyball: professional bowling
What They Said:
RantUser says Testin on 3/28/2007
Testing comments remotely
FDR Pearl Harbor Speech
To the Congress of the United States
Yesterday, Dec. 7, 1941 - a date which will live in infamy - the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.
The United States was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with the government and its emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific.
Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in Oahu, the Japanese ambassador to the United States and his colleagues delivered to the Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. While this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or armed attack.
It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time, the Japanese government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.
The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. Very many American lives have been lost. In addition, American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.
Yesterday, the Japanese government also launched an attack against Malaya.
Last night, Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong.
Last night, Japanese forces attacked Guam.
Last night, Japanese forces attacked the Philippine Islands.
Last night, the Japanese attacked Wake Island.
This morning, the Japanese attacked Midway Island.
Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.
As commander in chief of the Army and Navy, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense.
Always will we remember the character of the onslaught against us.
No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.
I believe I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make very certain that this form of treachery shall never endanger us again.
Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger.
With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounding determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God.
I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, Dec. 7, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese empire.
Thought for the day
It's the Christmas season, and I shouldn't have to say it.. but.. think about this:
Keep your good deeds anonymous. Give expecting nothing.